The world sure does have its fair share of douchebags.
If you meet a lot of people, you know this of course. I’m not teaching you anything. Those of us that travel for a living have to contend with all kinds of people and take it in stride. We get better at it but things can still hit us the wrong way.
I’d argue that most people in social media are actually pretty sensitive, so we get get hurt more than we would probably like to admit to.
The position I’ve started to take with those that are arrogant is that they’re simply on the defense with their views. They’re not into questioning them; they’ve already decided they’re right and they’re unlikely to change.
In fact, I largely divide the world into those on offense and those on defense, but that’s another idea altogether.
Anyway, your first line of defense (heh) when dealing with arrogance should always be the shrug, whichÂ says “he’s an asshole, but I’m brushing it off.” It’s an important idea because the more we think about how someone upset us, the more mindspace and energy we give it. The more we give it our attention, the more power it has.
What arrogance effectively tells you, when you read between the lines, is: “I am done learning on this subject. I’ve learned enough. I know what I need to.” Humility says the opposite.
Often, we don’t know what we, ourselves, are expressing to others when we take a certain stance. This is one of those times. It applies to others, but also ourselves.
Next time you’re in a debate, ask yourself if someone is on offense or defense. If they’re neither, then you know you have someone you can learn from (and vice-versa). The calmest ones are always the most certain– and the arrogant are not calm.
Maybe that’s why they’re arrogant– maybe they aren’t so sure themselves?