When I started to lose my hearing, I freaked out a lot.
I quit a lot of groups I went to– public speaking groups, capoeira, a lot of other stuff– because I wasn’t hearing what was going on properly anymore. Either that, or they were really loud, and I was afraid of hurting my ears more. It was tough.
That was about 3 years ago– I’ve leveled off now. Sometimes I hear new sounds, and that’s really scary. I realized that if I’m hearing new stuff, it means that there could be new sounds anytime, leading me to consider how bad this could really get. That could mean becoming isolated– after all, conversation is one of the main things that brings people together. What happens when you miss out on that?
All this brings new perspective. You’re freaking out at first because it’s so new, and the first moments where you’re suffering are always worse than whatever you become accustomed to. Eventually, you look at what’s going on in your life and you think “You know what, this isn’t so bad.”
And actually, it isn’t. I have a pretty good life.
The body does break down as we age– this much is true for everyone. I feel like for me, small parts of it have decided to go a bit early. That’s no problem. I think it’s made me more resilient and prepared for change. I know what it’s like to get old, I just have that earlier than a lot of normal people. I’m ok with this.
Tomorrow, the day after, or anytime after that, any number of terrible things could happen, without warning. We can’t focus on those possibilities, because it can paralyze us. We have to take advantage of what we have now.
I have this quote on a magnet on my fridge:
Be Thankful For This Moment– This Moment Is Your Life
Whatever your situation is, there is only one answer: “Ok, so this is how things are. This is what I have to work with. So be it.” Like, imagine you’ve been arrested. You don’t fight with the cops, you just do what you can, once you can do it, right? Getting argumentative about it will just make it worse. It’s the same with life.
Or maybe I’ve been watching too many episodes of the Wire, I dunno. It makes sense to me.