Homework. IV.

Everyone has amazing people that were once in their life, but who they’ve forgotten about or let slip away.

It can be friends or family members. I used to not call my family at all, and now I make an effort to. This is the kind of thing that’s not obvious, but still important. We’re always rushing around, so we forget, but in the meantime, they don’t forget about us.

The irony of all this stuff is that relationships are what make us happy in the first place. Yet we keep going around and chasing other things. It’s stupid. Status, prestige, money, whatever else– studies show that these things just don’ t make us happy. But we keep looking for them instead of having a big dinner at our house like we should.

I want you to think about this more this weekend. You probably have some free time. Use it wisely.


Your homework this week is to connect with at least one person who should still be in your life, but isn’t.

Feel like you need to make a call to reconnect, but youre kind of worried about it? Make the damn call.

Or, you can go through old text messages and text whoever you haven’t spoken to in 6 months or more. This is an amazing technique and can jumpstart relationships that should never have stopped in the first place. Try it.

Another thing to do is to call a family member. I now have reminders in my phone that help me do this. I know I should do it. But just because it doesn’t occur to me at a given moment, doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile. So use the technology you normally use for bullshit and use it for something that means something.

Whatever the means you use, spend a moment as soon as possible to connect with people you let slip. Do the right thing.

Good luck with your assignment. Report back in the comments when you’re done.

P.S.: I have a theory about collaboration and pop culture which I’m going to share it with you in a future post. In the meantime, know that it’s informed my decision to do a quick collabo with my friends at Dolbeau, which came out today. Check it out.





15 responses to “Homework. IV.”

  1. Paolo Avatar

    Un saludo and some greets from germany.
    Im a really big fan of your words …
    So thats way my question.
    Do you have an podcast or something ?
    If not … why not ????

    1. joss Avatar

      After reading a few comments: I think that people are nicer than I ever realized. Humans do not suck! whoohoo

  2. Chris Avatar

    Damn dude, I’ve only just found your blog and you have called me on a few things that I need to do. Thanks for doing what you do.

    Oh yeah, for whatever reason, I can’t subscribe. I am using Safari 5.1.7. Every time I enter my email, it says check my email, but I never get the confirmation email.

  3. Andreas Avatar

    Hello Julien.
    I just finished my exams last monday and since then I met someone that I haven’t seen for a while every evening (except yesterday, when the girl I invited once again did not show up…).
    I really had to abandon my life for a few weeks before the exams and it was a relief to take up “life” once again. Today I’m going to see my uncle. So I think without knowing I did pretty well this time.
    Thank you for your awesome posts!
    Kind regards

  4. Jarkko Helenius Avatar

    Hmm. I need to do this. Me and my best friends ways parted few years ago and he have kept zero contact since. With my relatively anti-social ways I don’t even meet him, despite the fact that he doesn’t live that far away.

    I think I have no excuses not to contact him. It was an unique friendship, where did I lost my way and just didn’t contact him? I’m going to do it. This has to be one of the best blogs in the internet, just immense posts that have changed my life.

  5. Denise Avatar

    Great reminder, Julien. I have a few calls to make.

    I just wanted to add that we can use technology to make connecting easier. I regularly text and pm via fb or twitter those I love. A quick picture or message reminds them that I’m thinking of them and only takes me a second.

  6. Kathryn Avatar

    I have been making a huge effort to do this lately and I’ve been doing it by mail. You know the kind with a stamp, and a box. It’s been great!

    Also the tie cool aboration ~ very you, very nice 😉

  7. Jo-Anne Avatar

    Ok I have had a long think but I cannot think of one person who I need to reconnect with I know that says something about me but I don’t want to think what……lol

  8. Susan Cooper Avatar
    Susan Cooper

    Done. I called someone I have seen or heard from in a VERY long time, well over a year. We had an awesome conversation and plan on having lunch when I am next in their neighborhood. It was really fun catching up with this person. Thanks, 🙂

  9. Susanne Iles Avatar

    I was too afraid to do this homework initially but set out with fresh purpose and intention. I re-connected with someone I hadn’t seen since I was 18. (I’m 47)It was a brilliant experience full of tears and laughter. After that I felt much braver so I sent out three thank you cards to people who had made a difference in my life years ago. I’d lost touch with them, and never got the chance to let them know that they actually did make a difference in my life. Positive things can only come from this homework, thank you for suggesting it.

  10. Anon Avatar

    I did this this week and met up with two people from a long time ago. Feels good to have them back in my life, this is a great idea.

  11. Julie Avatar

    I didn’t get to read this post until today, but had a family funeral yesterday. I saw family that I have not seen in a long time, and a few that haven’t seen me since I was very young and I didn’t remember them.

    Funerals are a sad reminder of the importance of family, but they also give us a chance to connect with family we see rarely.

  12. seif Avatar

    I flinched to call after long time, but I did it anyway. And i’m very happy that I did. Every time I remember don’t flinch and the cold shower, I just don’t think and Do.

  13. Zac Avatar

    Julien, this article really hit home. I moved away from home recently and have mostly not been keeping in touch with my family. Sure it’s a 2 way street but I could try harder. I’ve also had some good friends fall out of my life over the past year as well. Mostly it’s been because of little to no effort on my part. Thanks for the reminder.

  14. Sarah Avatar

    Done. I’ve mailed the girl I’ve been best friends with during our teenage years, but have sort of lost contact to (I don’t really count occasional shallow facebook interaction as “taking care of friendship”), although we live in the same city. She’s to busy this weekend, but I’m quite sure we’ll have our veggie-sushi-party on another weekend. Thanks for the assignment, made me think about how pointless it actually is to be shy is relationships with people you know for years.

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