The guy comes by yesterday to check out our kitchen and what he can do with it.
Right away he says: “you weren’t here the last time.” He’s right; my girlfriend was here. Now I am.
But the guy has a point. He’s confused now because he doesn’t know who the decision maker is. He thought he knew who he was supposed to sell to, but now he doesn’t. He doesn’t know who to take orders from. It feels like two different deals.
I have a couple of other situations like this in my life now. I haven’t learned to give clear instructions, with deadlines and everything else. I am wishy-washy and I say: “Be creative.” They hate this, but I do it anyway because I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.
This drove one guy completely crazy and he said so. “Your command of the English language is superb,” he says sarcastically. What he means is “give me some clear fucking instructions.”
So it was while I was reading the Steve Jobs book on a plane that I realized I was doing it all wrong. I was too much of an asshole in my personal life, and not enough of one in my professional life. I needed to do the opposite.
I wasn’t telling people what I wanted, not because I didn’t want something specific (I did, actually; I’m very particular), but because I am not willing to express it and say “this is what I want, this is why it’s exciting, and this is what you’ll do the best of your ability.”
Instead it’s like “oh I trust you.”
Except I don’t. Not really.
Right now, at this phase in my life, I have to learn a new set of skills. I have to be straightforward and honest, perhaps even abrupt, with what I want, while becoming calmer, kinder, and more honest with people close to me.
I don’t know how I ended up the other way. It doesn’t make sense.
When I think about it, it’s kind of shocking I’ve even made it this far.