Search engine optimization – a wonderful thing (maybe)
I recently started doing some SEO stuff on my blog, and with the help of Chris Penn and Aaron Wall (whose ebook I just bought), I must say I’ve gotten pretty good at it. I’ve gotten extra traffic to my podcast episodes and blog posts. I’ve also received affiliate traffic to help fund the costs of equipment and such.
SEO basically works through understanding what Google wants, and making it obvious to them what your page (or blog post) is about. Once you show Google the stuff more efficiently, it knows which of its users to direct to your site. Sounds good, right? Not always.
The Dark Side
Ok, I admit it: I’m sort of well known for swearing on my podcast. I admit it. I do it on my blog occasionally too… so what? Well, doing some of this stuff has exposed me to Google’s seedy underbelly, with searches the likes of which I have never seen. Perverts love me, really. Here’s some stuff I ranked pretty high for recently, despite myself:
‘Having Sex’
Yeah, I was in Google’s top 10 results for this phrase in September. Weird eh? All because of my episode, Having Sex on a Bicycle. I had no idea this would happen but, lo and behold, I’ve received a couple of thousand visitors due to this fluke. I doubt they found what they’re looking for, though.
‘Weird Sex’
Due to my episode, My Weird Sex Dream With Joanne Colan, I received hits from the phrase ‘weird sex’ several hundred times. Though I’m down to #17 or so these days, it was glorious at the top of the mountain, let me tell you. But it wouldn’t prepare me for what was to come.
‘Fucking Babies’ (or ‘Babies Fucking’)
My most recent discovery is that I rank very highly for the phrase ‘fucking babies’. My episode, Men Are Fucking Babies, had nothing to do with this, of course, and I cannot even conceive of a fate horrible enough for the people who search for this. But Google deems my page worthy to be good enough to connect with these bastards. So be it.
So yeah… people are kinda gross.
Anyway, life goes on. As the months pass I’m sure there will be a number of other screwed up people that find my site for whatever reason. So murderers, thieves, general lowlifes… welcome. I can’t wait to get to know you.
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